Baby Steps

So two days a week I take the girls to the park in the early morning and they scooter and play while I jog.  Now we don’t live in some ritzy area…but its also not the ghetto-so pretty much it’s the same boring old people every time we are there.  There’s the couple (with the floppy hats ala Rusty in National Lampoons European Vacation-so 80’s it’s awesome… I am gonna get Chris and me some matching ones-in black and white checks of course) who walk their two dogs, and there’s the group of mentally handicapped people from the nearby home that walk with their group leader (one man in particular always walks with his arm in his pants—not just like his hand or part of his arm. No- his WHOLE arm down there-it’s pretty impressive) -anyways I am getting off track. So yeah there’s a little community and we all know each other…or rather we are AWARE of each other. 

So this morning we head out for what will be the last visit of this summer =(  

No one is there yet..yay!…the park all to ourselves! The girls hit the playground and I start my laps. Now I always run within the back quadrant of the park only (its where the playground area is) as I want to keep an eye and ear out for the girls.  So I am rounding the back corner and turn to where I can see them and I see this bum walking out of the bathroom in raggedy pajamas and he sits down and is watching them. Ok relax, I tell myself.  It’s not illegal to sit right? Or to wear your dirty ass p.j.'s to the park. So I am watching and running and he gets up! And he walks RIGHT TOWARDS THEM!  I book it..like full sprint… to the area they are in and when he sees me he walks the other way.-ok, I say walk- but he was clearly under the influence of something because it was more of a stagger-or maybe looking back, maybe he just was doing a gangsta’ lean. Regardless he was freaking us out. So I grab the girls and tell them to stay in the middle of the baseball field and I will run around them.  Their playin’…I’m runnin’-turn my back, then look around real quick and he’s shuffling toward them AGAIN! WTF!!!  So I book it again across the grass and he again stumbles off.  No one still at the park….where are my people?-floppy hat couple? The man who plays pocket pool? Nope, no one today of all mornings. So at this point I say f’ this we are leaving. But he’s stumbled over to our car and there is no way I am going over by him. So I run and run and all the while plan in my head how I will take him on…..a knee to the balls, the mean elbow to the face Jillian Michaels is teaching me.  Then the girls start running with me and they have a plan too—Cadyn will hit him in the front butt (I love that she thinks we all have back butts and front butts! I just wanna keep her at this age) Bridget will hit him with her scooter and Bug will trip him.  So we have a plan. But then our friends show up and we breathe a little….but he’s still rambling around leering at everyone.  So SO creepy!  He finally goes into the bathroom and never comes back out.

 

But see all that whooole looong story is not what my post is about today. It’s about the fact that that whole time this really freaky drunk man was stalking us and scaring us (I mean at one point I was so sure that I was going to have to defend us because he looked ready to pounce) -so this whole time- I had my cell phone in my hand……but calling the police would mean doing just that—calling. So um yeah-I don’t do phones.  So I would rather be scared out of my wits and potentially attacked than dial a number and speak to someone. ?????

 

See guys!??!!! It’s not just with you.  I wonder where or why this phone phobia or aversion or whatever you want to call it started.  I am sick like that. 

 

But when we got home that damned guilty conscience of mine showed up…and I pictured floppy hat couple or retarded pervert guy getting attacked….and I did it. I did a HUGE shot of vodka.

 

And then I called the police.