Love is blind

I found an old video today. It was VHS. It said **Sara Volleyball Game 9/19/91** Wow! My mind said ‘Run. Run fast. Destroy this tape.’ But of course my body and mind never align on any matters and I found myself walking to the VCR-yes we still have one-and inserting this dusty old tape. What I saw was completely and truly the most horrendous thing I have ever seen. I puked in my mouth a little and the girls were watching through hands over their eyes. MY WORD! Damn Gina…I was awkward. WTF! Did NO ONE own a mirror back then? Who let me out of the house like that? How could my family love me? DID they love me? How did my bangs get so puffy? Who even gave me those bangs? Why were my glasses tinted? Why was I wearing spandex? Who even invented spandex? Who told me to tuck my shirt in so tight? Did my own mother even love me? If I were my own kid I would have made my ass walk home….and then in the mean time I would have sped home and changed the locks. It was very painful. Did I mention how awkward I was?

I was in seventh grade. I had glasses that were 10 times too big. I was chubby. I had big bangs. And I had a bad case of OCD ticks….oh life is so cruel sometimes. I would puff my bags up, adjust my glasses, then puff my bangs up and adjust my glasses, then puff…you get the picture. Actually on second thought- don’t…don’t get this picture.

And on this tape it shows my older sister who came to watch this volleyball game…why? That is really truly love right there people. How could you watch that? I know it physically hurt her..it must have, I will be forever greatful. And my older sister (whom we’ll call 'Rusie' to keep her identity safe) had some FIERCE hair. FIERCE. The only thing fiercer (fiercer? More fierce? Whatever…) were her shoes. Man people were fun-kay in the early ‘90s. I don’t remember being funky. I remember being fashionable.

If I thought that then…and looking back makes me puke in my mouth-then what about now? I cringe to think what I will see in 18 years from now on old videos.

The only redeeming part of the whole experience was seeing my kid’s reaction to me playing a sport. Cadyn said, “Look mom’s good. She’s doing it!” Poor little peanut. Thank the good Lord that love is so damn blind.

or is it that I was so blinding?!!