I gotta tell ya, this time last year my Chargers hat was thrown in a fit of rage under our kitchen table. There it stayed…a reminder of the ugliness and anger of that horrible day that the Chargers once again ripped my heart out. And just as the year before…and the year before...and the year before….I vowed to never ever again be a fan. I couldn’t handle that cruel feeling of defeat again. But time after time I would let my husband drag my ass to Chargers training camp…where I’d sit-pissed off…STILL. And slowly little by little I’d get sucked into the hype…. excited by the promise of “this is our year”. And I'd pick up my hat, dust it off and put it on ...a proud, excited, hopeful fan.
This year was no different. We were on fire. A couple times this last week I even imagined us at the Super Bowl. We were at that caliber of play I thought. We would show the world that we were legit. For real. No joke.
Ha ha fucking ha.
WTF???? Are you Kaeding me???
Here’s a little asshole whose only job is to go in for a few plays a game and kick a god-dammed field goal. It’s what he’s paid big bucks for. He’s always clutch. Best in the league they say. EXCEPT for fucking play off games.
Coaches get paid big money too…to know these damned things. Did they not have access to stats and video that show he’s missed seven of eight field goals in the playoffs? Seven. SEVEN!
Why was there not a contingency plan in place? The little bastard chokes. Every. Fucking. Time.
And here I sit again. I allowed myself to be sucked in. Pulled into the hype. I got excited. God damn it I had hope. I could taste it.
Now I feel dirty.
I am going to take a hot long shower and try to scour the feeling of a horrible bitter loss off of my body. I won’t say I won’t watch a game again. Cuz I probably will. And I won’t say I won’t be a fan again. Cuz I probably will. But I will say that it will take a lot. A LOT. For me to be excited about this team again. I don’t know if I have it in me.
Not one player on that team played today like they wanted it. Like they wanted this win. They played like a damned high school team. Maybe worse. Where were they? The team that won 11 straight? They didn’t show up today. I could sense it from kick off. What was different in the universe? I wore my blue sweatshirt. I wore the same socks and didn’t change my underwear. We ate the same food and my hair was the same. Superstitious much? Well you have to be sometime. I had everything checked off my list. Then I get home and read this: http://berticusprime.blogspot.com/2010/01/jumping-on-bandwagon.html
They should make a team motto: "Chargers…there’s always next year."
In the meantime…